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savvyliterateYou Know You're From Eastern Tennessee When... |
You've never met any celebrities....other than Fred Thompson or "Big Tom" from Survivor. "Ya'll" is a word. You laugh when people from anywhere north of TN tries to say or spell "y'all" You've said "fixin' to," "might could," or "usetacould" during the last week. It's "Knox-vull" not "Knox-ville" You have a "piss on" sticker on your car window Sales tax is 9.5%. You butter your hot biscuit by cutting it open, putting a slab of butter inside and closing it back up again. You don't drive in Knoxville on game-day. EVER. You have a party or a barbeque whenever Tennessee plays Florida in football. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date. You've missed a wedding or a funeral to go to a football game. A soft drink isn't soda, cola, or pop, it's Coke. You call it a "buggy" and not a shopping cart. Asian food is always "CHINESE" regardless of the fact that it may actually be Korean or Japanese or Thai Fried chicken is a major part of your diet, and your family has it once a week. Your English teacher says things like "Y'all" and "Ain't Got None" It's not an uncommon site to see a fat man in overalls and a cowboy hat drivin' down the road in a beat up Chevy with a confederate flag hangin' off the back with music from Johhny Rebel blastin' out of his radio You only know five spices--salt, pepper, Ranch dressing, BBQ Sauce and hot sauce. "Backards and forwards" means, "I know everything about you." It's not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you. You know yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through. (Yeah, man...at least. Probably also happens everywhere else.) A red light means 2 more can. There is a Baptist church on practically every street corner. Even an inch of snow means everyone forgets how to drive and county schools are out for a week. You can go more then 5 miles on any road with out getting caught behind an old farmer in a pick-up doing 20 mph. You can go more then 5 miles on any road with out getting caught behind a car with a Florida license plate in the summer. When you give directions they include "over yonder," "down the road a piece," and "right near." You're not commitment-phobic: you love God, guns and football. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Eastern Tennessee. |