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::yawn:: It's been a long time since I've written anything. Life has been so busy lately. Since my last post, I've moved into a new apartment and have taken the last final exams I will ever take as an undergraduate. I finished moving out of the dorms today. I nearly cried when I looked out one of the windows at the lake behind the building for the last time. Yeah, it is a dorm and yeah, I only spent two days out of the past month there, but it was my home for the past two years. As far as dorms go, it was a decent one. I will miss it. The only thing I have left to do is to clean out my desk at The Crimson White. I've been putting that one off as long as possible. I think it's because deep down inside, I can't bring myself to clean it out. No matter what has happened in the past four years, the CW has remained a constant part of my life. Deep down inside, I hate change. I mean really hate it. I wish things would stay the way they are right now. But, I suppose that's all a part of growing up. ::sigh::

But, I also realized how lucky I am. One of my friends, Ely-chan, ended up failing her science class. That made me realize how unfair life is. She worked her butt off for that class. She works so hard studying, it really puts me to shame. I wish I could be that dedicated. But, despite all of her hard work, she failed because as she explains it - the teacher worded stuff so ambigiously that it is impossible to pass the tests. I'm with her on how much I HATE that. My COM 123 (Public Speaking) final was the same way. I know how hard the entire class studied for it - we got together before the exam and shared notes. Then everyone walked away from the tests feeling like we were screwed. For us seniors, if we don't make a C in that class, we don't walk on Friday. I'm a little nervous to see my grade in that class. But, I know that I will walk this week. Because of this jerk of a science teacher though - that is delayed for Ely-chan. It makes my heart sick to see that. I wish there was something - anything I could do for her. Why do things like this always ALWAYS happen to the nicest people? Deep down inside, I hate feeling helpless too.

Since it's 2:30, I suppose I need to either unpack some more boxes or go back to sleep since I have to work in the morning. I fell asleep around 10 p.m. and suddenly opened my eyes at 2. I HATE that. I miss all the interesting people in the evening. Oh well, I spent all of Saturday evening with Lance, and that made me happy. I teased him by saying love is how much stuff a woman buys so the man has to lug it around. I worry about him so much. But, that's a story for another day.
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Graduation. It's such a scary word. It's hard to believe that in little over a month, I will graduate from college. I'm suppose to be heading off into the real world and become an adult. Well, technically an adult. Something tells me that I will always be somewhat of a child at heart. My favorite comic, "Rose is Rose," describes that aspect of me perfectly. I identify with the main character, Rose, completely. I'll be the one to pretend and have alter egos while still be a good mom and wife.

Everything has taken on a surreal quality here. I sit at my desk that I've occupied for the past two years and look at my co-workers interacting across the room. Some have only been here a few weeks while others I've known ever since I've started school here. One I had a crush on. The other, we shared adventures in New York City together. It's hard to believe that soon we'll all go our separate ways. When I looked upon this gorgeous Alabama day today and played wiffle ball out on the front lawn of The Crimson White with co-workers, I wanted to take a snapshot of the moment and remain in it forever.

I'm incredibly happy the way I am right now. I'm with a wonderful man and I'm truly in love for the first time in my life. I have the most wonderful friends, a great job and I'm about to sign my very first lease. Leaving school behind is going to be painful, but I'm trying to treasure the moments here while I can. Soon I won't be able to barb Nick Parsons every day or have Luke make fun of my canny ability to unknowingly copy what he says. I'm going to miss having all types of discussions with the SGA President and rushing to make deadline on papers and articles. I already miss being out on the marching field and going to practice every day and being in the Million Dollar Band. Graduation is exciting, but it's so sad as well.

Oh well! I'll be cheerful as usual and I'll get by. I'll still have Lance and my friends and family with me as I move into the future. The places and situations may change - but good people in your life will always be a constant.

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savvyliterate

September 2020

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