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savvyliterateI feel so horrible.
My week was suppose to go in an orderly fashion. I had a friend from out of town visiting Monday and yesterday, then Jeff was suppose to come in today after being in Orlando on a job interview and spend the rest of the week with me.
Well, then, Jeff came last night instead of today.
He did because Orlando left him very confused about what's going to happen in his life and mine. He wanted to talk to me about it and that's fine. He went to the Orlando Sentinel not thinking that they would blow him away. Well, they did. So now, he has a huge decision to make - whether or not to leave Knoxville. So, he needed someone to talk to and some comfort. He came to me for that.
Now, the friend (yes, who is male and Jeff knew was going to be there) offered to leave and I asked him not to. We had a good time on Monday and he repaid me for staying there by cleaning the apartment. I couldn't kick him out onto the curb simply because my boyfriend was coming over. He had just came from a friend who lived with her boyfriend. It would essentially be the same thing - so I naively thought.
Things were fine through dinner. I fixed dinner for everyone and it was enjoyed. The friend and I talked while making the meal, etc. Then I fell asleep in the recliner while he and Jeff talked. Around 9, I noticed I had my shift in Dragonrealms in an hour, so I went to lay down. Jeff laid down with me. We talked and cuddled for a bit and I got back up at 10 to rejoin my friend. Jeff needed that and it allowed him to get his head back on straight after what just happened.
That was when the tension level skyrocketed. The friend was upset that I had spent that time with Jeff when we were suppose to "do" anything and refused to talk to me. I tried everything I could, but didn't know what was wrong. When he finally used Yahoo to tell me on my computer that he was upset with me, I asked him to leave and fled from the apartment in tears. He and Jeff then talked and he told Jeff that all I did Monday was worry about Jeff, then he was upset that we spent an hour alone. He kept talking about being the third wheel, etc.
I looked back on Monday. My friend got to town, we went to dinner, then got some gelato. We talked, played DDR, watched R.O.D. the TV (excellent show) and had a good time. Because it was a weeknight, I had to come back and do some Dragonrealms work and that took up the rest of the evening. The friend was aware that I had to do this and that I had to work the next day. Throughout the evening, I tried to get Jeff at the hotel and finally talked to him. I look back on that and thought, you know, even if I'd talked to him online instead of in person, I still would have worried about Jeff. Why? Because what happens in Orlando affects his future and mine.
I did entertain to the best of my abilities - someone who chose to visit me on a Monday/Tuesday instead of the weekend when I could have done more. Up until now, there has been no problem with Jeff interacting with my family and friends. Nor me with his. Jeff is convinced that the friend is attracted to me and last night drove home the reality that I am completely off the market. I'm just upset. I tried to make everyone happy and in return, didn't.
If Jeff and I had been married or if he'd been living there, like the other friend this friend had gone to see, the problem would have still been there. I would have had to pay attention to Jeff as my husband/fiance/boyfriend and I would have paid attention to the friend as well. I warned the friend that I was a homebody and that I really don't do much in the evenings beyond talking. I did have work to do that I couldn't reschedule again because I'd been on vacation the week earlier. Normally I can balance everything - friends, boyfriend, family - pretty well. I failed this time.
My week was suppose to go in an orderly fashion. I had a friend from out of town visiting Monday and yesterday, then Jeff was suppose to come in today after being in Orlando on a job interview and spend the rest of the week with me.
Well, then, Jeff came last night instead of today.
He did because Orlando left him very confused about what's going to happen in his life and mine. He wanted to talk to me about it and that's fine. He went to the Orlando Sentinel not thinking that they would blow him away. Well, they did. So now, he has a huge decision to make - whether or not to leave Knoxville. So, he needed someone to talk to and some comfort. He came to me for that.
Now, the friend (yes, who is male and Jeff knew was going to be there) offered to leave and I asked him not to. We had a good time on Monday and he repaid me for staying there by cleaning the apartment. I couldn't kick him out onto the curb simply because my boyfriend was coming over. He had just came from a friend who lived with her boyfriend. It would essentially be the same thing - so I naively thought.
Things were fine through dinner. I fixed dinner for everyone and it was enjoyed. The friend and I talked while making the meal, etc. Then I fell asleep in the recliner while he and Jeff talked. Around 9, I noticed I had my shift in Dragonrealms in an hour, so I went to lay down. Jeff laid down with me. We talked and cuddled for a bit and I got back up at 10 to rejoin my friend. Jeff needed that and it allowed him to get his head back on straight after what just happened.
That was when the tension level skyrocketed. The friend was upset that I had spent that time with Jeff when we were suppose to "do" anything and refused to talk to me. I tried everything I could, but didn't know what was wrong. When he finally used Yahoo to tell me on my computer that he was upset with me, I asked him to leave and fled from the apartment in tears. He and Jeff then talked and he told Jeff that all I did Monday was worry about Jeff, then he was upset that we spent an hour alone. He kept talking about being the third wheel, etc.
I looked back on Monday. My friend got to town, we went to dinner, then got some gelato. We talked, played DDR, watched R.O.D. the TV (excellent show) and had a good time. Because it was a weeknight, I had to come back and do some Dragonrealms work and that took up the rest of the evening. The friend was aware that I had to do this and that I had to work the next day. Throughout the evening, I tried to get Jeff at the hotel and finally talked to him. I look back on that and thought, you know, even if I'd talked to him online instead of in person, I still would have worried about Jeff. Why? Because what happens in Orlando affects his future and mine.
I did entertain to the best of my abilities - someone who chose to visit me on a Monday/Tuesday instead of the weekend when I could have done more. Up until now, there has been no problem with Jeff interacting with my family and friends. Nor me with his. Jeff is convinced that the friend is attracted to me and last night drove home the reality that I am completely off the market. I'm just upset. I tried to make everyone happy and in return, didn't.
If Jeff and I had been married or if he'd been living there, like the other friend this friend had gone to see, the problem would have still been there. I would have had to pay attention to Jeff as my husband/fiance/boyfriend and I would have paid attention to the friend as well. I warned the friend that I was a homebody and that I really don't do much in the evenings beyond talking. I did have work to do that I couldn't reschedule again because I'd been on vacation the week earlier. Normally I can balance everything - friends, boyfriend, family - pretty well. I failed this time.
