Sep. 20th, 2008 11:38 pm
CRUNCH (1/1)
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savvyliterateTitle: CRUNCH
Series: Doctor Who and Highlander. Takes place before "Journey's End"
Characters: The Doctor (10th), Donna Noble, Methos
Rating: PG
Summary: The TARDIS makes an unusual landing. I warn you, if you are a Duncan McCloud fan, you may not care for this story ...
Whirl.
Whirl.
CRUNCH.
“Crunch?” Donna frowned as the TARDIS settled into place. “The TARDIS doesn’t normally crunch when we land.”
“Must have landed in a peanut field somewhere,” the Doctor mused as he strode toward the door.
“A peanut field? You said you were landing us in Paris near the Effiel Tower!” Donna protested as she followed him. “Now you’ve blown us off course and landed us in a peanut field?”
“Well, just how would you explain … whoa!” The Doctor yelped as he opened the door and was suddenly smacked with an immense blast of power. White light suffused him, making his limbs light up and his head jerk back as he screamed what appeared to be an intense ecstasy. Donna cried out and ducked behind the console as she waited it out, her heart thudding rapidly as she watched the power fade and the Doctor slump against the door.
“Doctor!” Donna dashed out and caught him before he hit the ground. “What was that?”
“Dunno,” the Doctor gasped. “Felt almost like …”
“A Quickening,” a terse voice answered from outside the door.
“A what?” Something tugged at the back of Donna’s mind as she stared out the door. A few feet away, she spotted a rather cross-looking middle-aged man wearing a white jumper and holding a very long, sharp-looking sword in one hand. “A Quickening? Like on that Highlander series? Mum loves that series. Always going on about that nutty Adrian Paul. I rather prefer Peter Wingfield myself, but …”
The man chuckled as the Doctor gasped in Donna’s hold. “No. No, it’s real, Donna,” he managed.
“Real? You’re having me on!”
“He’s not, Donna,” the man said and Donna suddenly placed the honey-smooth voice.
“You’re Peter Wingfield!” she gasped and let go of the Doctor, fully intending to run and get her autograph book. The Doctor’s head banged against the door as he fell against it.
“Not exactly,” the man chuckled. He extended a hand. “My name really is Methos.”
Donna’s jaw fell. “No…”
Methos chuckled. “I like her. Hello, Doctor!”
“Methos,” the Doctor managed as he got somewhat gracefully to his feet, shooting Donna a dirty look as he massaged the egg-sized lump on his head. He took one step outside the TARDIS and promptly landed on his face once more as he tripped over something on the ground. “What the…”
“That’s your own fault, Space Man,” Donna said lightly as she stepped over the object and out of the TARDIS. “You really need to watch where you’re going.”
The Doctor scrambled back to his feet and looked down once more. He nudged the object he tripped over with his foot. “Why … that’s a body! The TARDIS actually crushed someone!” he sounded horrified as he uttered this, crouching next to the body.
“Does the TARDIS land on people often, you time ape?”
“No, of course not! Well, there was that one salesman ... but in any case she is a highly intelligent being in her own right. She doesn’t just go around smashing people at will,” The Doctor snapped at Donna. “Who is this?” he asked Methos.
“Duncan McCloud of the Clan McCloud. You managed to do in less than a minute what thousands have tried over the past 500 years to do.”
“Wait a minute, wait a minute.” Donna held up her hands and strode toward Methos, jabbing a finger in his face. “You’re saying you’re not actors. That you’re really a 5,000-year-old immortal and he,” she pointed to the decapitated body, “is really the Highlander? Like the one off of TV and all that lot?”
“One and the same,” the Doctor spoke up, shoving his hands in his pockets.
Methos grunted a bit. “The TV series wasn’t my idea. It was his.” He cast a somewhat disdainful look at Duncan. “We make people think that The Game isn’t real and we rake in a lot of money in the process – as long as he is the star. It worked. Sort of. Now people think we’re a bunch of nutty cosplayers and have you seen the amount of Duncan/Methos slash on the Internet?” he shuddered and turned a bit green. "I have much better taste than that."
“Don’t swing in that direction?” Donna inquired.
“Well … when one has lived 5,000 years, you tend to do it for love’s sake, not a gender.” Methos gave Donna a fond smile. “There was Alexa. She was … she was precious. But on the other side, there was a captain I got to know a long time ago. Captain Jack Harkness.”
The Doctor made a face, his eyebrow twitching. “Oh. Oh, that’s wrong. That’s just wrong. Sick!”
“Well, I think it’s rather sweet,” Donna replied as the Doctor turned several shades of green at the images floating through his head. “The old man there’s still hung up on a young thing himself. She’s gone though, so he’s got me. And don’t even think we’re together in that sort of way, you skinny thing.”
“Congratulations,” the Doctor muttered. “She’s now quite fond of you since she feels the need to insult you.”
Donna whirled on the Doctor. “Oh, don’t you even start!”
“So,” the Doctor said, changing the subject. “I take it that you and old Duncan-boy over there were sparring when we came along?”
“Well, not exactly. You see …” Methos hesitated a moment, then continued. “Duncan hasn’t been quite right in the head for a few years. Really gone psychotic, you know what I mean?”
The Doctor thought of the Master. “I have an idea.”
“He started wandering around muttering about this thing called the Source. Joe Dawson and I thought he’d completely gone ‘round the bend, if you know what I mean. He even broke his katana in half and tried to kill Joe. Luckily, he was able to hold him off until I got there and well … “ Methos cast a glance at the body. “That’s what led to now. Duncan completely snapped and started raging that he was ‘the One.’ He also made up a wife and claimed that she was pregnant even though all Immortals are sterile and …”
“Sad, that,” the Doctor replied.
“So … if I remember the series right, when the TARDIS landed on Duncan and the Doctor stepped out …,” Donna sounded out.
“Quickening. I … and most likely the TARDIS … have absorbed the vast amount of knowledge and power that Duncan McCloud did from all his years of existence.” The Doctor absently rubbed the back of his head. “Quite a waste really. Sorry about that.”
“Not a big loss. I think Kalas was saner than him in the end,” Methos shrugged.
“So, we just killed a man and nobody cares?” Donna asked the Doctor.
“Well, considering who it was …” The Doctor clucked his tongue. “The TARDIS obviously wouldn’t have done such a thing unless she deemed Duncan to be a threat. Never really liked the chap much. Quite pompous really. Knew he was going to snap one day.” He raised an eyebrow at Methos. “You okay?”
“I wasn’t sure at first if I wanted to strangle you or take you out for a pint in celebration.”
“Oh, the pint sounds lovely, doesn’t it Donna?”
“Yes. Quite. You’re paying, skinny man,” she informed Methos as she headed toward a pub sign she spotted on the other side of the clearing. Methos and the Doctor gave the fallen Immortal one last look, then followed.
Series: Doctor Who and Highlander. Takes place before "Journey's End"
Characters: The Doctor (10th), Donna Noble, Methos
Rating: PG
Summary: The TARDIS makes an unusual landing. I warn you, if you are a Duncan McCloud fan, you may not care for this story ...
Whirl.
Whirl.
CRUNCH.
“Crunch?” Donna frowned as the TARDIS settled into place. “The TARDIS doesn’t normally crunch when we land.”
“Must have landed in a peanut field somewhere,” the Doctor mused as he strode toward the door.
“A peanut field? You said you were landing us in Paris near the Effiel Tower!” Donna protested as she followed him. “Now you’ve blown us off course and landed us in a peanut field?”
“Well, just how would you explain … whoa!” The Doctor yelped as he opened the door and was suddenly smacked with an immense blast of power. White light suffused him, making his limbs light up and his head jerk back as he screamed what appeared to be an intense ecstasy. Donna cried out and ducked behind the console as she waited it out, her heart thudding rapidly as she watched the power fade and the Doctor slump against the door.
“Doctor!” Donna dashed out and caught him before he hit the ground. “What was that?”
“Dunno,” the Doctor gasped. “Felt almost like …”
“A Quickening,” a terse voice answered from outside the door.
“A what?” Something tugged at the back of Donna’s mind as she stared out the door. A few feet away, she spotted a rather cross-looking middle-aged man wearing a white jumper and holding a very long, sharp-looking sword in one hand. “A Quickening? Like on that Highlander series? Mum loves that series. Always going on about that nutty Adrian Paul. I rather prefer Peter Wingfield myself, but …”
The man chuckled as the Doctor gasped in Donna’s hold. “No. No, it’s real, Donna,” he managed.
“Real? You’re having me on!”
“He’s not, Donna,” the man said and Donna suddenly placed the honey-smooth voice.
“You’re Peter Wingfield!” she gasped and let go of the Doctor, fully intending to run and get her autograph book. The Doctor’s head banged against the door as he fell against it.
“Not exactly,” the man chuckled. He extended a hand. “My name really is Methos.”
Donna’s jaw fell. “No…”
Methos chuckled. “I like her. Hello, Doctor!”
“Methos,” the Doctor managed as he got somewhat gracefully to his feet, shooting Donna a dirty look as he massaged the egg-sized lump on his head. He took one step outside the TARDIS and promptly landed on his face once more as he tripped over something on the ground. “What the…”
“That’s your own fault, Space Man,” Donna said lightly as she stepped over the object and out of the TARDIS. “You really need to watch where you’re going.”
The Doctor scrambled back to his feet and looked down once more. He nudged the object he tripped over with his foot. “Why … that’s a body! The TARDIS actually crushed someone!” he sounded horrified as he uttered this, crouching next to the body.
“Does the TARDIS land on people often, you time ape?”
“No, of course not! Well, there was that one salesman ... but in any case she is a highly intelligent being in her own right. She doesn’t just go around smashing people at will,” The Doctor snapped at Donna. “Who is this?” he asked Methos.
“Duncan McCloud of the Clan McCloud. You managed to do in less than a minute what thousands have tried over the past 500 years to do.”
“Wait a minute, wait a minute.” Donna held up her hands and strode toward Methos, jabbing a finger in his face. “You’re saying you’re not actors. That you’re really a 5,000-year-old immortal and he,” she pointed to the decapitated body, “is really the Highlander? Like the one off of TV and all that lot?”
“One and the same,” the Doctor spoke up, shoving his hands in his pockets.
Methos grunted a bit. “The TV series wasn’t my idea. It was his.” He cast a somewhat disdainful look at Duncan. “We make people think that The Game isn’t real and we rake in a lot of money in the process – as long as he is the star. It worked. Sort of. Now people think we’re a bunch of nutty cosplayers and have you seen the amount of Duncan/Methos slash on the Internet?” he shuddered and turned a bit green. "I have much better taste than that."
“Don’t swing in that direction?” Donna inquired.
“Well … when one has lived 5,000 years, you tend to do it for love’s sake, not a gender.” Methos gave Donna a fond smile. “There was Alexa. She was … she was precious. But on the other side, there was a captain I got to know a long time ago. Captain Jack Harkness.”
The Doctor made a face, his eyebrow twitching. “Oh. Oh, that’s wrong. That’s just wrong. Sick!”
“Well, I think it’s rather sweet,” Donna replied as the Doctor turned several shades of green at the images floating through his head. “The old man there’s still hung up on a young thing himself. She’s gone though, so he’s got me. And don’t even think we’re together in that sort of way, you skinny thing.”
“Congratulations,” the Doctor muttered. “She’s now quite fond of you since she feels the need to insult you.”
Donna whirled on the Doctor. “Oh, don’t you even start!”
“So,” the Doctor said, changing the subject. “I take it that you and old Duncan-boy over there were sparring when we came along?”
“Well, not exactly. You see …” Methos hesitated a moment, then continued. “Duncan hasn’t been quite right in the head for a few years. Really gone psychotic, you know what I mean?”
The Doctor thought of the Master. “I have an idea.”
“He started wandering around muttering about this thing called the Source. Joe Dawson and I thought he’d completely gone ‘round the bend, if you know what I mean. He even broke his katana in half and tried to kill Joe. Luckily, he was able to hold him off until I got there and well … “ Methos cast a glance at the body. “That’s what led to now. Duncan completely snapped and started raging that he was ‘the One.’ He also made up a wife and claimed that she was pregnant even though all Immortals are sterile and …”
“Sad, that,” the Doctor replied.
“So … if I remember the series right, when the TARDIS landed on Duncan and the Doctor stepped out …,” Donna sounded out.
“Quickening. I … and most likely the TARDIS … have absorbed the vast amount of knowledge and power that Duncan McCloud did from all his years of existence.” The Doctor absently rubbed the back of his head. “Quite a waste really. Sorry about that.”
“Not a big loss. I think Kalas was saner than him in the end,” Methos shrugged.
“So, we just killed a man and nobody cares?” Donna asked the Doctor.
“Well, considering who it was …” The Doctor clucked his tongue. “The TARDIS obviously wouldn’t have done such a thing unless she deemed Duncan to be a threat. Never really liked the chap much. Quite pompous really. Knew he was going to snap one day.” He raised an eyebrow at Methos. “You okay?”
“I wasn’t sure at first if I wanted to strangle you or take you out for a pint in celebration.”
“Oh, the pint sounds lovely, doesn’t it Donna?”
“Yes. Quite. You’re paying, skinny man,” she informed Methos as she headed toward a pub sign she spotted on the other side of the clearing. Methos and the Doctor gave the fallen Immortal one last look, then followed.