Sep. 14th, 2003

Sep. 14th, 2003 12:21 am

Rurouni...

savvyliterate: (Wishful)
I miss my best friends.

One is now a married woman. The other is back in Alabama. Sometimes, my heart becomes so full that I want so badly to talk to someone - but can't find the right words to say it. I sometimes miss the way things used to be, when I could confide in one through the Internet move evenings and the other by a simple car ride to her house.

When I moved to Selma, I left whenever I could. I knew it was because I didn't like the city very much and as time went by, grew to hate my job. Then I moved here and I thought the restlesness would stop. It didn't.

So I dubbed myself Rurouni Meg.

I realize now that my wandering isn't because of a restlessness over my location. It's a restlessness born of lonliness. Lonliness was something I didn't have in Tuscaloosa. It grew in Selma, spread when I broke up with Lance. I don't wander so much, but the restless is still there. It strikes and then I feel like I'm in a cage, battling to get free. And I roam - around Bristol and Johnson City. Because I'm searching for something and I can't find it.

I hate this feeling.

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savvyliterate

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