Sep. 14th, 2003 12:21 am
Rurouni...
I miss my best friends.
One is now a married woman. The other is back in Alabama. Sometimes, my heart becomes so full that I want so badly to talk to someone - but can't find the right words to say it. I sometimes miss the way things used to be, when I could confide in one through the Internet move evenings and the other by a simple car ride to her house.
When I moved to Selma, I left whenever I could. I knew it was because I didn't like the city very much and as time went by, grew to hate my job. Then I moved here and I thought the restlesness would stop. It didn't.
So I dubbed myself Rurouni Meg.
I realize now that my wandering isn't because of a restlessness over my location. It's a restlessness born of lonliness. Lonliness was something I didn't have in Tuscaloosa. It grew in Selma, spread when I broke up with Lance. I don't wander so much, but the restless is still there. It strikes and then I feel like I'm in a cage, battling to get free. And I roam - around Bristol and Johnson City. Because I'm searching for something and I can't find it.
I hate this feeling.
One is now a married woman. The other is back in Alabama. Sometimes, my heart becomes so full that I want so badly to talk to someone - but can't find the right words to say it. I sometimes miss the way things used to be, when I could confide in one through the Internet move evenings and the other by a simple car ride to her house.
When I moved to Selma, I left whenever I could. I knew it was because I didn't like the city very much and as time went by, grew to hate my job. Then I moved here and I thought the restlesness would stop. It didn't.
So I dubbed myself Rurouni Meg.
I realize now that my wandering isn't because of a restlessness over my location. It's a restlessness born of lonliness. Lonliness was something I didn't have in Tuscaloosa. It grew in Selma, spread when I broke up with Lance. I don't wander so much, but the restless is still there. It strikes and then I feel like I'm in a cage, battling to get free. And I roam - around Bristol and Johnson City. Because I'm searching for something and I can't find it.
I hate this feeling.