I'm sorry

I know I have been blessed with some unusual talents. I know I can't use them very well. But, how am I going to get any better if I can't at least watch others use theirs??

Then again, I think the thing that gets me the most is when I'm told that I can't do something because I'm lacking - a certain skill, a certain control, etc. At least give me the chance to learn or explore it on my own.

Then again, the heart of the matter is that I really really hate being told I can't do something period. It's the youngest child in me, I know it. Being the youngest of three and the only girl to boot meant that I got my way - a lot. And it really rankles me when someone tells me "No, you can't do something." I just wish more people, when saying no, would explain why they were saying no. It would make things easier, IMHO.

So, with that part of my soul admitted, I'm sorry I yelled at Mack when we were online a few minutes ago. Call it my kitten claw defense.

What I'm afraid of is that every time I do protest like that, I'll be thought of as being immature. I've done a lot of growing up in the past six and a half months. Being out of school and away from your friends will do that to you. Just when I think I'm getting things right, my kitten claws strike again. ::sigh::

Maybe I'll get it right one day.

Squee!

http://www.newspagedesigner.com/portfolios/portfolio1.php?UserID=1835

This the link to my portfoilo on News Page Designer, a website where designers can share their front pages and critique them against others. I was showing it to a friend of mine tonight, who is the editor of a 30,000 circulation weekly in Tampa. He was impressed! Squee!!

Then, I noticed there had been two comments left on my Columbia front. I checked them out. One said this:

"Megan, one of the best-designed papers in the country is the Jacksonville, IL, Journal-Courier, my old paper. Circulation is around 20,000. The State Journal Register in Springfield is continually knocking on their door trying to steal the market. Circulation and staff size aren't the key to good design. Creativity, good typography and balance are. Have the guts to take over the whole page for the big story. Empower yourself to be a great designer and you will be. Learn from what's good here and in the SND annual. Your work shows promise. Don't let the bosses or your perception of what the bosses want keep you down. "

Double squee!! Here's the other comment:

"There's good stuff about working at small papers, too. Foremost among them, I think, is the ability to effect change, which I think you're doing at the Times-Journal. The last time I seriously took a good look at the paper was last spring while I was waiting around in the AU journalism department for some reason or another. What I see in your portfolio, in contrast with what I saw then, is a really big improvement. "

TRIPLE SQUEE!! I'm sooooo happy! I think I'll go float around on cloud nine for awhile.