Life? It's your choice.

[savvyliterate]

Maybe it's because all of the sleep I've had in the past two weeks have come in four-five hours snatches, but I'm going to gripe for a bit. Or, this is ramblings of the extremely sleep-deprived and there's a point when you just snap.

I've been reading about several friends complaining about going back to school/college. They don't want to go to class, they're not in the classes that they want in, the campus is crowded, etc.

Last year, my heart would ache. I wanted to be back in school so badly. When I got the latest round of this, sorry for using you as an example, shigure-chan, I simply just stared at the screen.

It was at 3 a.m. this morning and I'd been at work since 10 p.m. to work on Medical Watch. I knew I would only be able to get a couple hours of sleep (I wound up getting about five hours) before coming back to work another eight hours. I've been counting down the days until our editorial page editor goes on maternity leave and I take over 80 percent of her duties until December.

I sit here and think, I've got a lot of this and your biggest worry is about searching for textbooks? Then again, when I was in school three years ago, that was my biggest worry too. Wow, those were innocent days.

So, my advice to the people in high school and college is this - take advantage of the time you have there. Trust me, it won't last forever and you will actually miss it.

The second catalyst to my rant was reading aishuu's most recent post. And it makes me wonder, is it all worth it? Is it worth the late hours and the grinding work? I believe it is. That's why I do my best not to complain about it. I chose to be here and I love my job.

That's why it disturbs me when I see a post that ends with "kill me" in regards to a job. Don't we have a choice to be there? I could quit work right now and go work at McDonald's. But, I don't. Each job has its ups and downs and you have to weigh the good with the bad. Believe me, Medical Watch is one of the down sides. I guess it's because I survived working in Selma. As I tell Jeff, if we could survive our crappy first jobs, we can make it anywhere. But, I do have a choice to pick up and leave if I so choose. Sure, I may have to work fast food for awhile, but I don't have to stay somewhere I hated.

Again, I apologize to aishuu for using her as an example as well.

The third catalyst - I realized yesterday that some things said to me by certain people when I began dating Jeff really hurt. It bothered me that when I trusted these people implicitly and never questioned their manners or decisions that they failed to give me the benefit of the doubt. They questioned my decisions and my morales and in one case, made an accusation that really shows how much he did not trust me in that regard. It's my life, damnit, and I know my own mind. I'm not 16-years-old any longer. Hence, why I've not talked to certain people lately. I don't want to be dragged down into angst right now.

Guess what, people? Life is good! We're all here - alive, safe and well...relatively well-off in a somewhat turmulous time. Unlike a lot of other people on this planet, we get the benefit of having a good education, plenty of food and water, a good roof over our heads and the freedom to choose what path we walk in life. Don't stay some place you're not happy with. Enjoy the freedom that being in college and high school brings you. We're only on this planet for a very short time, as Jeff constantly tells me. Make the most of it.

When I get some sleep, I'll go back to my normal, pretty even-tempered, cheerful self. :)