Jul. 21st, 2004 11:09 am
Changing relationships
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savvyliterateIf there's anything I've learned in the past six weeks, it's how my relationships with men vs. women have changed.
Until now, I could talk with some guys the same way I can talk with girls. It never occured to me that I needed to censor what I said or avoid certain topics. Part of it comes from working in a newsroom. When you spend your college years with a bunch of men, then follow it up in a small newspaper, there are things you talk about a lot.
But now, things are very different in my current relationship. And there's some things I've told a couple of male friends that I wish I hadn't said anything at all.
Why?
Because ever since I've gotten into a serious relationship, I've found out about men who'd loved to date me but never brought it up. It just never came up or I didn't choose to pursue anything. How ironic is that?
The main thing that shocked me is the type of reaction I received in a couple of cases. I thought I could say anything to these guys. Now, I know I can't. Because my relationships have shifted somewhat because I have a bigger male influence on my life.
I've not lost my independence.
I've not lost who I am.
Relationships aren't suppose to do that.
If anything, I'm a better and stronger person because of it. A good relationship isn't suppose to drag you down or to drastically change who you are. It's suppose to make you stronger. I have grown a lot stronger, as a woman and as a journalist.
It's easy to preach when you haven't been in this situation, but things aren't always black and white. There's a lot of greys as well.
Speakings of good things about the relationship, my mother's given me her full approval of it. That means a lot to me. She and Jeff sat and talked about things for a long time the other night, then I talked to her as well. The joys of being connected via Internet.
And, on the writing front....MY MUSE IS BACK! FINALLY!
I got out two chapters of "Shikon no Go" yesterday and I hope to have a couple more out today. If I can ever get movie #3 downloaded, I can finish one of my longer fics and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kitesareevil and I bantered about some ideas for a possible alternate reality fic. I am so happy about this! Wai!
Also, I've done some housekeeping on my friends list. If I've accidentally taken you off and I shouldn't have, please comment and let me know. Thanks!
Until now, I could talk with some guys the same way I can talk with girls. It never occured to me that I needed to censor what I said or avoid certain topics. Part of it comes from working in a newsroom. When you spend your college years with a bunch of men, then follow it up in a small newspaper, there are things you talk about a lot.
But now, things are very different in my current relationship. And there's some things I've told a couple of male friends that I wish I hadn't said anything at all.
Why?
Because ever since I've gotten into a serious relationship, I've found out about men who'd loved to date me but never brought it up. It just never came up or I didn't choose to pursue anything. How ironic is that?
The main thing that shocked me is the type of reaction I received in a couple of cases. I thought I could say anything to these guys. Now, I know I can't. Because my relationships have shifted somewhat because I have a bigger male influence on my life.
I've not lost my independence.
I've not lost who I am.
Relationships aren't suppose to do that.
If anything, I'm a better and stronger person because of it. A good relationship isn't suppose to drag you down or to drastically change who you are. It's suppose to make you stronger. I have grown a lot stronger, as a woman and as a journalist.
It's easy to preach when you haven't been in this situation, but things aren't always black and white. There's a lot of greys as well.
Speakings of good things about the relationship, my mother's given me her full approval of it. That means a lot to me. She and Jeff sat and talked about things for a long time the other night, then I talked to her as well. The joys of being connected via Internet.
And, on the writing front....MY MUSE IS BACK! FINALLY!
I got out two chapters of "Shikon no Go" yesterday and I hope to have a couple more out today. If I can ever get movie #3 downloaded, I can finish one of my longer fics and
kitesareevil and I bantered about some ideas for a possible alternate reality fic. I am so happy about this! Wai!Also, I've done some housekeeping on my friends list. If I've accidentally taken you off and I shouldn't have, please comment and let me know. Thanks!
