RAWR. I hate conglomerates at times.
I got the nice, shiny Verizon FiOS installed today. The internet speed is 2-3 times faster than Comcast and I've already got Doctor Who, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, BONES and the Colbert Report programmed to record in the DVR. The tech was super-friendly and the router is very nice. My trusty little Airport Express will once again become a wireless print server after Mama's visit next week (in case I need to use it to extend the Internet at her resort.)
Next up is calling Comcast. This is the part that I loathe. I normally stick with one service no matter what, so when I normally do these sorts of calls, it's because I'm moving and they can't question it. First up is a male representative sounding somewhere in my age range.
Rep: Welcome to Comcast, blah, blah, security questions, blah, how can I help?
Me: I need to disconnect my service, please.
Rep: Oh? May I ask why?
Me: I decline to give a reason.
Rep: If you don't tell me, we can't improve our services.
Me: *hesitates, then goes with the truth because I am a terrible liar* To be honest, I moved to fiber-optic service because they offered better Internet and cable at a better price.
Rep: Oh, we can give you cable and Internet for $66.
Me: No, thank you. I'd like to disconnect my service, please.
Rep: But, we can give you this deal where ...
Me: Sir? Thank you, and I understand you're doing your job, but I do not wish for anymore offers. Please disconnect my service.
Rep: *doesn't say anything for a moment* Well, for $66 ... *continues his spiel that I don't fully hear because I keep trying to cut him off*
Me: *is now wishing I said I was moving to Argentina* Sir? Sir? Sir, please ... Sir, I said I didn't want anymore offers. Sir? Sir, I would like to speak with a manager, please. (Please note the previous two lines happened about three times.)
Rep: *in the most patronizing "you are clearly an inferior woman" tone possible* Well, I'm just trying to have a conversation with you.
Me: *is now at roughly a 7 out of 10 on a Lina Inverse on a rampage scale and is being very polite. You know the type of polite ... the type instilled into Southern women that is so frigid it flays you harder than a whip* Sir, I informed you I wish to disconnect my services. I did not wish for any offers, and you ignored my wishes. I want to speak with a manager, please. NOW.
He escalated the call.
Thankfully the supervisor was very efficient. She sounded on the defensive when she took the call, but once she realized I really was polite and the agent was a complete jerk, she got me all squared away with no further offers and agreed that the agent should have stopped when I said I wanted no further offers.
Good riddance, Comcast.
I got the nice, shiny Verizon FiOS installed today. The internet speed is 2-3 times faster than Comcast and I've already got Doctor Who, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, BONES and the Colbert Report programmed to record in the DVR. The tech was super-friendly and the router is very nice. My trusty little Airport Express will once again become a wireless print server after Mama's visit next week (in case I need to use it to extend the Internet at her resort.)
Next up is calling Comcast. This is the part that I loathe. I normally stick with one service no matter what, so when I normally do these sorts of calls, it's because I'm moving and they can't question it. First up is a male representative sounding somewhere in my age range.
Rep: Welcome to Comcast, blah, blah, security questions, blah, how can I help?
Me: I need to disconnect my service, please.
Rep: Oh? May I ask why?
Me: I decline to give a reason.
Rep: If you don't tell me, we can't improve our services.
Me: *hesitates, then goes with the truth because I am a terrible liar* To be honest, I moved to fiber-optic service because they offered better Internet and cable at a better price.
Rep: Oh, we can give you cable and Internet for $66.
Me: No, thank you. I'd like to disconnect my service, please.
Rep: But, we can give you this deal where ...
Me: Sir? Thank you, and I understand you're doing your job, but I do not wish for anymore offers. Please disconnect my service.
Rep: *doesn't say anything for a moment* Well, for $66 ... *continues his spiel that I don't fully hear because I keep trying to cut him off*
Me: *is now wishing I said I was moving to Argentina* Sir? Sir? Sir, please ... Sir, I said I didn't want anymore offers. Sir? Sir, I would like to speak with a manager, please. (Please note the previous two lines happened about three times.)
Rep: *in the most patronizing "you are clearly an inferior woman" tone possible* Well, I'm just trying to have a conversation with you.
Me: *is now at roughly a 7 out of 10 on a Lina Inverse on a rampage scale and is being very polite. You know the type of polite ... the type instilled into Southern women that is so frigid it flays you harder than a whip* Sir, I informed you I wish to disconnect my services. I did not wish for any offers, and you ignored my wishes. I want to speak with a manager, please. NOW.
He escalated the call.
Thankfully the supervisor was very efficient. She sounded on the defensive when she took the call, but once she realized I really was polite and the agent was a complete jerk, she got me all squared away with no further offers and agreed that the agent should have stopped when I said I wanted no further offers.
Good riddance, Comcast.
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