Dec. 11th, 2008 02:21 pm
The happiest of news
So, day 5 of the happy meme is a bit late because I fell asleep last night. It was a very full day and well ...
On Tuesday night, flying around in circles above Atlanta, I honestly didn't know if we would make it. I wasn't the only one to think that. It was a blown tire, but nobody on board was stupid. It could easily be the catalyst for something much worse. A woman behind me had just buried her father and was crying. A lot of people were tense and praying. I was terrified. I prayed too. The flight attendant was fantastic and explained how everything would work. But, it was still scary - practicing the safety positions you normally dismissed, the flight attendants asking if any military personnel, police or fire fighters were aboard, etc. I just wanted to talk to my mom. I wanted Mike. I wanted to land and have everything be okay.
Then, suddenly, my mind cleared and I knew it was one of those moments where God was speaking directly to me. I knew I was going to be fine and that everyone on this plane was going to live, because I had to go home. I had to talk to Mike. I had something to tell him, and I knew I was going to live to do so.
Four and a half hours later, I stumbled in the door of my apartment and threw my stuff down and contacted Mike. He'd read the entry on my LJ, but didn't know any of the details until I told him. Then I told him what happened and told Mike what I told myself I would tell him if I got home okay: Whenever he was ready, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. He told me that he didn't know when it was going to happen or how, but he couldn't imagine the rest of his life without me in it.
Silence.
Mike: "Does this count as an engagement then?"
Me: "Oh geez, I missed this page in the etiquette book."
There used to be a big hole inside of me, a deep aching loneliness that was like a cancer eating me from the inside out. I would get in the car and cry my eyes out and then just wander everywhere searching for something I've lost - even when I was dating I always felt that aching loneliness. When Mike and I became friends, that feeling always went away around him. When I realized I loved him, that feeling was kicked out and never came back.
It's going to be a long road and this isn't going to happen right away. We're on different sides of the ocean. But, we've known each other for three years and we've handled a lot of emotional and mental missiles lobbed at us. We'll handle more. But, I know this - when I wake up in 3 years or in 30, I want it to be with him beside me. We made this decision like every other giant step in our relationship - together with both of us on equal ground.
Mike and I are engaged.
On Tuesday night, flying around in circles above Atlanta, I honestly didn't know if we would make it. I wasn't the only one to think that. It was a blown tire, but nobody on board was stupid. It could easily be the catalyst for something much worse. A woman behind me had just buried her father and was crying. A lot of people were tense and praying. I was terrified. I prayed too. The flight attendant was fantastic and explained how everything would work. But, it was still scary - practicing the safety positions you normally dismissed, the flight attendants asking if any military personnel, police or fire fighters were aboard, etc. I just wanted to talk to my mom. I wanted Mike. I wanted to land and have everything be okay.
Then, suddenly, my mind cleared and I knew it was one of those moments where God was speaking directly to me. I knew I was going to be fine and that everyone on this plane was going to live, because I had to go home. I had to talk to Mike. I had something to tell him, and I knew I was going to live to do so.
Four and a half hours later, I stumbled in the door of my apartment and threw my stuff down and contacted Mike. He'd read the entry on my LJ, but didn't know any of the details until I told him. Then I told him what happened and told Mike what I told myself I would tell him if I got home okay: Whenever he was ready, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. He told me that he didn't know when it was going to happen or how, but he couldn't imagine the rest of his life without me in it.
Silence.
Mike: "Does this count as an engagement then?"
Me: "Oh geez, I missed this page in the etiquette book."
There used to be a big hole inside of me, a deep aching loneliness that was like a cancer eating me from the inside out. I would get in the car and cry my eyes out and then just wander everywhere searching for something I've lost - even when I was dating I always felt that aching loneliness. When Mike and I became friends, that feeling always went away around him. When I realized I loved him, that feeling was kicked out and never came back.
It's going to be a long road and this isn't going to happen right away. We're on different sides of the ocean. But, we've known each other for three years and we've handled a lot of emotional and mental missiles lobbed at us. We'll handle more. But, I know this - when I wake up in 3 years or in 30, I want it to be with him beside me. We made this decision like every other giant step in our relationship - together with both of us on equal ground.
Mike and I are engaged.
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