(no subject)

You know, I think at times that I have a problem with money. It's not paying bills I have a problem with, that's one thing I always do right, but it's spending money. It's like - look, you have money or credit on your credit card, why don't you spend it? It seems to me that is the American mentality of things.

Take today. I had swapped over my credit cards, paying off and cancelling one, but getting another so I could have it for when my car breaks down, have an emergency bill, etc., and I have room on it. So, I went and bought something I had been thinking of buying for awhile - a used Nintendo 64. When I got home, I wondered why I had even bought it. Yes, it's nice and I will have fun with it, but part of me feels guilty at purchasing something like that. I think I'm going to give it to my boyfriend for Easter. He had given his away to his nephews for Christmas a couple of years ago and I can tell he misses it. That way, I will feel better presenting it as a gift to someone and then be able to use it whenever I want.

Speakings of my boyfriend, I want to praise him for a bit. At times, I don't think people give him the benefit of the doubt. Yes, I realize that he has his faults. His pride is about the size of Canada and sometimes he talks worse than most women and can get on people's nerves. But, as one of my bosses pointed out, he doesn't talk all the time on purpose. He's just being polite. He was raised that if anyone approaches him, he smiles and says something. Yes, I want to strangle him and teach him the meaning of "restraint," but the good outweighs the bad and has taught me the art of compromise.

Sunday night, we were driving out to his mom's house when we nearly got into a serious car accident. I was approaching an intersection going the speed limit (65 mph) when a car pulls up, stares at me, then pulls out in front of me. I screamed and jerked the car to the right, just barely missing the other car. If I had been in the left lane, I would had been hit for sure. My car got off the road and spun around before stopping. We both sat there stunned for a moment. I could not stop shaking or crying to save my life. Instantly, Lance put his arms around me and tried to calm me down. We sat there for about five minutes before I could function enough to get out of the car and get into the passenger's seat so he could drive the rest of the way. Since he is one of those people who does not like driving other people's cars, that meant a lot.

He got me back to his mom's and took me inside where they managed to calm me down. He made me hot chocolate and tucked a blanket around me, which was really sweet. Then, he sat and kept his arm around me for about half an hour. I had not felt so safe in a long time. It was like when I was little and Mama or Daddy would hold me after I've fallen down and hurt myself. At that point, I craved attention like that. Finally, I was able to get back on the road and drive home. Then, Monday morning, I was at work and he called me, making sure I was okay and had gotten plenty of sleep. The sleep, didn't get a wink, but I was touched that he had gotten up at 6:30 to make sure I was okay.

The near accident taught me a lot about how precious life is, but it also made me remember how lucky I am. I honestly thought until last fall that I would never find a decent man to be with. It looks like I was wrong. I had always been afraid that I would be forced to give up being myself to be with someone. That is not the case. He only makes me want to be a better person - and that I am happy about.

Oh! And as for the music, any "Rurouni Kenshin" fans out there need to download the music video "Particle Man" done to clips from the show. It's the most hilarious thing I've seen in ages!