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savvyliterateTitle: Bite, Break, Suck and Crunch
Written for:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gidget_zb
Fandom/Characters: Doctor Who, Doctor/River - "candy cane"
Rating: T
Word Count: 1,072
Spoilers: Seen series 6? You're good.
You could learn a lot about a person based on the way they ate a candy cane, the Doctor thought.
Amy went for the straight end, biting off a piece with her teeth and steadily eating her way through the cane with a single-mindedness that matched her Scottishness. It made him grin every time she stealthily plucked one from the tree, then insisted she had no idea where it had gone.
Rory also started from the straight end, slowly breaking off each part into matching pieces. Whenever he reached the curved end, he’d purse his lips before breaking it into two equal pieces and offering half to Amy. Amy accepted with glee, and Rory spent the next few minutes smiling.
The Doctor himself … well, this particular incarnation loved the curved end. He’d pop it into his mouth, swirl his tongue around the curves before biting down with a great crunch. The crunch drove Amy mad, but it was really, really cool.
As for River …
“You,” the Doctor proclaimed, “are a sucker.”
River was sprawled on the floor in front of the small Christmas tree set up in the study, an open book in front of her. She gave him a look that could either mean she was about to jump him, or she was about to strangle him. “I’m what?”
“A sucker! You suck candy canes. See, everyone eats their candy canes differently. Amy bites. Rory breaks. I do a bit of everything, but mostly crunch. But, you? Oh, my bad, bad, girl, you are clearly a sucker.” The Doctor took a candy cane off the tree and offered it to her.
River eyed it as if it was a piece of celery. “No, thank you.”
“You’re welc … No? No as in you won’t eat it?”
“That’s right.”
“But … it’s a candy cane!”
“It’s peppermint. I don’t like peppermint.”
The Doctor looked like he’d been shot by a Dalek, an apt comparison, he thought, since he knew how that felt. “You don’t like peppermint? How can you not like peppermint?”
“I’m allowed not to like things, sweetie. This incarnation doesn’t like peppermint. When I was Mels, I couldn’t stand the taste of caramel. One of the few things I remember about being Melody was not liking apples. Sweetie, you don’t like pears.”
“Well, that’s pears. That’s completely different. You have to like peppermint! It’s just not British if you don’t!”
“That’s liking tea, not liking peppermint.”
“Same thing!”
River rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to her book. “Besides,” she commented, “you very well know there’s a great many things I like to suck.” She winked at him and he flushed, fiddling with the candy cane a little too hard. It snapped in his hands. With a sigh, he finished the rest, crunching as loudly as he could.
——
But, the Doctor wouldn’t give up.
He presented River with a mug of cocoa with a candy cane sticking out of it. “Look, it’s in chocolate,” he said. “Amy says chocolate makes everything taste better.”
River smiled, patted his cheek, poured the mug out and made herself some peppermint-free cocoa.
He found an exquisite bakery on Fhga that had the best vanilla-frosted cake in the Uyg galaxy. Best of all, they used crushed candy canes as sprinkles. He bought River a piece and pouted as she took a bite, frowned, and asked for another without sprinkles.
He tempted her with ice cream, fudge, meringues and Rice Krispies treats. He took her to an entire planet made of candy canes and another where they were regarded as a sacred relic. But nothing, not even the threat of ritual sacrifice should she not consume the holy food, would persuade River Song to eat a candy cane.
“You really should give up,” Amy said as the Doctor took over the Pond kitchen to make custard with crushed candy canes. “There’s just some things people don’t like. River doesn’t like peppermint.”
“Which is just wrong!” The Doctor snatched the largest bowl he could find and dumped the custard into it. “Everyone loves candy canes!”
“Not everyone.”
“She’s your daughter! That means she has to like candy canes!”
“And she does!”
The Doctor stilled. He narrowed his eyes at Amy. “Your daughter,” he repeated with great emphasis, “has spent the past week of linear time emphasizing just how much she dislikes candy canes.”
“You ninny. Did River say she not like candy canes, or that she doesn’t like peppermint?”
The Doctor stared at Amy for so long that she was quite sure she broke him. She snapped her fingers in front of his eyes. “Hello? Oi! Doctor? Did I finally break you? I’ve really been trying.”
“You mean,” he managed, “there’s candy canes that are not peppermint?”
“Oh, my space idiot. Traveling about for 1,100-plus years and you didn’t know?” Amy disappeared into the front room and returned with a red, green and white striped candy cane. She placed it in his limp hand. “Go give this to River.”
——
The Doctor returned to the TARDIS with the candy cane-laced custard for him and the single cane for River. “I’m back!” he yelled, dumping the bowl on the console.
River appeared on the upper landing, raising an eyebrow at the custard. “I am not eating that. Oh, sweetie, I keep telling you, I don’t like peppermint.” She descended the stairs, shaking her head. “I know you keep trying. Bless. But …”
“That? Oh, that’s for me. Not like I’d share, it’s custard. No, this is for you, dear.” He presented the candy cane Amy gave him.
River took the candy cane and smiled. “Went to see Amy, didn’t you?”
“And what if I did?”
“I recognize the bowl.” She kissed his cheek and leaned against the console, unwrapping the candy cane.
The Doctor blinked, and his jaw sagged. “You’re going to eat it!”
“Of course!”
“But, it’s a candy cane!”
“Yes! I like candy canes.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do. Whatever made you think I don’t?”
“You keep saying you hate candy canes!”
“No, I don’t! I don’t like peppermint.” River waved the candy cane under the Doctor’s nose. “This is a cherry-flavored candy cane. I love these.”
His eyes lit up. “You do?”
“Of course!” To prove it, she popped the straight end of the candy cane in her mouth and proved the Doctor right. River Song was indeed a slow, torturous candy cane sucker.
Other days in the advent calendar
Dec. 1: A Moth Drawn to Flame - Doctor Who, Tenth Doctor and River Song (forirony_rocks)
Dec. 2: Profits - Ranma 1/2, Kuno/Nabiki (forrose)
Written for:
gidget_zbFandom/Characters: Doctor Who, Doctor/River - "candy cane"
Rating: T
Word Count: 1,072
Spoilers: Seen series 6? You're good.
You could learn a lot about a person based on the way they ate a candy cane, the Doctor thought.
Amy went for the straight end, biting off a piece with her teeth and steadily eating her way through the cane with a single-mindedness that matched her Scottishness. It made him grin every time she stealthily plucked one from the tree, then insisted she had no idea where it had gone.
Rory also started from the straight end, slowly breaking off each part into matching pieces. Whenever he reached the curved end, he’d purse his lips before breaking it into two equal pieces and offering half to Amy. Amy accepted with glee, and Rory spent the next few minutes smiling.
The Doctor himself … well, this particular incarnation loved the curved end. He’d pop it into his mouth, swirl his tongue around the curves before biting down with a great crunch. The crunch drove Amy mad, but it was really, really cool.
As for River …
“You,” the Doctor proclaimed, “are a sucker.”
River was sprawled on the floor in front of the small Christmas tree set up in the study, an open book in front of her. She gave him a look that could either mean she was about to jump him, or she was about to strangle him. “I’m what?”
“A sucker! You suck candy canes. See, everyone eats their candy canes differently. Amy bites. Rory breaks. I do a bit of everything, but mostly crunch. But, you? Oh, my bad, bad, girl, you are clearly a sucker.” The Doctor took a candy cane off the tree and offered it to her.
River eyed it as if it was a piece of celery. “No, thank you.”
“You’re welc … No? No as in you won’t eat it?”
“That’s right.”
“But … it’s a candy cane!”
“It’s peppermint. I don’t like peppermint.”
The Doctor looked like he’d been shot by a Dalek, an apt comparison, he thought, since he knew how that felt. “You don’t like peppermint? How can you not like peppermint?”
“I’m allowed not to like things, sweetie. This incarnation doesn’t like peppermint. When I was Mels, I couldn’t stand the taste of caramel. One of the few things I remember about being Melody was not liking apples. Sweetie, you don’t like pears.”
“Well, that’s pears. That’s completely different. You have to like peppermint! It’s just not British if you don’t!”
“That’s liking tea, not liking peppermint.”
“Same thing!”
River rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to her book. “Besides,” she commented, “you very well know there’s a great many things I like to suck.” She winked at him and he flushed, fiddling with the candy cane a little too hard. It snapped in his hands. With a sigh, he finished the rest, crunching as loudly as he could.
——
But, the Doctor wouldn’t give up.
He presented River with a mug of cocoa with a candy cane sticking out of it. “Look, it’s in chocolate,” he said. “Amy says chocolate makes everything taste better.”
River smiled, patted his cheek, poured the mug out and made herself some peppermint-free cocoa.
He found an exquisite bakery on Fhga that had the best vanilla-frosted cake in the Uyg galaxy. Best of all, they used crushed candy canes as sprinkles. He bought River a piece and pouted as she took a bite, frowned, and asked for another without sprinkles.
He tempted her with ice cream, fudge, meringues and Rice Krispies treats. He took her to an entire planet made of candy canes and another where they were regarded as a sacred relic. But nothing, not even the threat of ritual sacrifice should she not consume the holy food, would persuade River Song to eat a candy cane.
“You really should give up,” Amy said as the Doctor took over the Pond kitchen to make custard with crushed candy canes. “There’s just some things people don’t like. River doesn’t like peppermint.”
“Which is just wrong!” The Doctor snatched the largest bowl he could find and dumped the custard into it. “Everyone loves candy canes!”
“Not everyone.”
“She’s your daughter! That means she has to like candy canes!”
“And she does!”
The Doctor stilled. He narrowed his eyes at Amy. “Your daughter,” he repeated with great emphasis, “has spent the past week of linear time emphasizing just how much she dislikes candy canes.”
“You ninny. Did River say she not like candy canes, or that she doesn’t like peppermint?”
The Doctor stared at Amy for so long that she was quite sure she broke him. She snapped her fingers in front of his eyes. “Hello? Oi! Doctor? Did I finally break you? I’ve really been trying.”
“You mean,” he managed, “there’s candy canes that are not peppermint?”
“Oh, my space idiot. Traveling about for 1,100-plus years and you didn’t know?” Amy disappeared into the front room and returned with a red, green and white striped candy cane. She placed it in his limp hand. “Go give this to River.”
——
The Doctor returned to the TARDIS with the candy cane-laced custard for him and the single cane for River. “I’m back!” he yelled, dumping the bowl on the console.
River appeared on the upper landing, raising an eyebrow at the custard. “I am not eating that. Oh, sweetie, I keep telling you, I don’t like peppermint.” She descended the stairs, shaking her head. “I know you keep trying. Bless. But …”
“That? Oh, that’s for me. Not like I’d share, it’s custard. No, this is for you, dear.” He presented the candy cane Amy gave him.
River took the candy cane and smiled. “Went to see Amy, didn’t you?”
“And what if I did?”
“I recognize the bowl.” She kissed his cheek and leaned against the console, unwrapping the candy cane.
The Doctor blinked, and his jaw sagged. “You’re going to eat it!”
“Of course!”
“But, it’s a candy cane!”
“Yes! I like candy canes.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do. Whatever made you think I don’t?”
“You keep saying you hate candy canes!”
“No, I don’t! I don’t like peppermint.” River waved the candy cane under the Doctor’s nose. “This is a cherry-flavored candy cane. I love these.”
His eyes lit up. “You do?”
“Of course!” To prove it, she popped the straight end of the candy cane in her mouth and proved the Doctor right. River Song was indeed a slow, torturous candy cane sucker.
Other days in the advent calendar
Dec. 1: A Moth Drawn to Flame - Doctor Who, Tenth Doctor and River Song (for
irony_rocks)Dec. 2: Profits - Ranma 1/2, Kuno/Nabiki (for
rose)